Oh, what a hot topic I’m diving into! And I can feel all the other professionals out there shaking their heads and thinking, “Bad move! Bad move!” But it’s something so near and dear to my heart, and I need to get this off my chest. I know not everyone will agree, and that’s okay because we are all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs, but I ask only for respect here.
So, July 4th – Independence Day. It represents our independence as a country, our freedoms, and states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, and that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness…” See that? ALL men are created equal, and ALL have unalienable rights… So what better day to talk about this?
Growing up, I was raised by a Christian family and attended a Methodist church. It was all fine and dandy until I began really learning more about our society as a whole, and started seeing things I’d never seen before. When I began high school, a friend and I shared a book that had letters from LGBT folks or their loved ones in it talking about their lives growing up. I cried. HARD. Each person that wrote a piece of this book had felt suffering, judgement, and endured harassment. The worst part is that all of this hatred was felt from Christians. We went to church one day, and the preacher only spoke of how wrong LGBT people are, how bad their sins are, that they need to turn from their wicked ways. I bit my tongue as I tried not to yell out from the congregation against what was being said, and I stopped going to that church after that. I had no desire to sit in a room full of others that nodded their heads in agreement to hate-filled sermons, especially when I knew what skeletons they had in their own closets.
I also had some of the greatest friends, and I swear every single one of them came to me at some point to let me know they were gay. It made me stop and think about why I was surrounded by gay people, and why I loved them so much. I honestly think it’s because we could all bond over feeling bullied at some point in our lives, and understanding that greatness of being able to fully be yourself and being loved for that. We were free and open to just exist as we were without worrying of being judged. But it was so hard at the same time, because I watched so many of my friends face criticism and abuse from other students and even their own family members. One was put in a trashcan and told that’s where they belonged for being gay… Another was physically beaten with a bible by their own family because they were trying to “knock the gay out”. How can someone claim to be Christian yet act so violently, especially towards someone in their own family?! I just could not fathom how anyone could do these things. And this behavior not only harmed them, but also turned them away from Christianity as a whole. Who could blame them? But oh how I wanted to tell these friends that not all Christians are like that – that some of us DO love with all our hearts, and we DON’T judge others! After being faced with such detest by people of this faith, it’s hard to prove that point though, especially in the south.
When I went off to college, I had no idea what I was doing with my life. I had prayed SO many times that God would lead me down the right path, but I never really felt I was on the path I was meant to be on. That’s because I was on a path that would lead me through hardship where I’d learn exactly who I was, what I wanted in this life, and it would teach me and mold me into who I am today. I stayed with Psychology, but found myself in a random (and advanced – woops! Not even sure how the system even let me sign up) Women and Gender Studies class one semester. The Biology of Homosexuality. I didn’t even know this was the class until the first day I showed up. I was curious, but also hesitant about this because I knew I may have to explain myself if anyone asked which classes I was taking. But that class? It was everything I needed. And that teacher and I are still friends.
Did you know that the majority of animal species have homosexual behaviors? So saying that being gay is not natural is actually false. Did you know that there are several species that only have females for the sake of having children, and then the males get together as couples and raise the young? Did you know that these types of relationships have also been proven to provide the best care for their young? Did you know that some females are born with male hormones, and that some males are born with female hormones? Did you know that there are a large amount of people born with ambiguous genitalia, which can result in the parents or the doctor having to choose which sex the baby should be assigned?
And that’s just the start of it all.
When I started photography as a business, I gained a good following. And then I got to photograph my first gay couple. I was SO excited until we started the session, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with emotions as I watched my couple just totally close up on me because they were being harassed by bystanders. I was there to document love, yet I was documenting a couple in love being verbally assaulted instead. I’m pretty sure the couple saw the “Momma Bear” side of me about to come out because they quickly rushed us away before I exploded on these people that claimed to be Christians yet thought it was okay to openly make fun of my couple. My couples mean the absolute world to me, and I will stand up for them and fight for them with all I’ve got because that is who I am. One guy in particular had been saying mean things to them when I had my back turned, and he had started to say something else until he got my “death stare” as Chad likes to call it. It’s basically my warning sign that you need to keep your mouth shut because I will not tolerate your negativity. He stopped mid-sentence when he saw he’d been caught, and I said, “That’s what I thought…” Think this is the end of the downside I’ve personally experienced in business? Wrong. I’ve had people refuse to use my work I’d already done for them because they don’t want others getting “the wrong idea”. Beautiful raw moments of themselves that they won’t appreciate or share simply because I work with all clients. When I post any photos of an LGBT couple, I can watch my “likes” on my page go down significantly. It honestly makes me sad that just a simple image of two people in love could make someone feel the need to go to the trouble of fully unliking my page. This all seems silly, huh? Thankfully, I’ve also gotten more likes each time by friends and family of the couples, so it’s always positive in the end. I still wish others could understand that their words and actions hurt so many, and that’s not okay.
There are several questions going around for Christians that are okay with this new change, and I have a few answers for it. Yes, I have always believed in loving others. That includes everyone, and limits no one. I do think Jesus would have hung out and loved gay couples and their weddings because they are pretty awesome weddings, and Jesus loves everyone last I checked. I have felt more emotion and have seen more genuine happiness from LGBT couples than most of my “straight” couples. Plus, free cake, guys. Free cake. I think the biblical definition of marriage was meant for that time when the earth needed to be populated, and obviously there were gay people back then or else it wouldn’t have been brought up. This proves that it’s been there throughout history, and it’s not something new. We are so overpopulated it’s crazy, so clearly we aren’t in dire need of babies. In fact, we have more children in foster care or orphanages than ever, and now that two people that love each other can get married, they can also legally adopt a child of their own together – a child that would never know the love of parents otherwise. This should be the fact people are thinking about instead of dwelling on an equal right given to others that may be different. To also claim that homosexuality is universally unaccepted would be wrong because we are honestly one of the last major countries to legalize gay marriage. There are some third world countries that even celebrate and honor those that are LGBT, and they are seen as being blessed by God with more wisdom than others. This whole thing isn’t about just getting a paper – it’s about two consenting adults being able to love each other, be able to legally marry each other, and legally be given the exact same rights and benefits as straight couples. For those that seem to think this opens the door to pedophiles, incest, and bestiality, you truly could not be more wrong. These things should never ever be compared to homosexuality. What can be compared is someone being born with brown eyes, someone being born with an outie belly button, someone being born deaf, etc. It’s just a difference that they don’t choose. To say that we need to condemn them for something they can’t choose just seems wrong. I don’t think it is anyone’s right to tell others what they are doing wrong or try to “fix” them. If you want to show God’s love to someone, do that – show them love. Showing them hatred and claiming it’s because you love them isn’t the same though, and just because you can’t understand how they feel or you disagree with them doesn’t make them wrong. After all, God created us uniquely and equally, and gave us the rainbow. A rainbow is a spectrum of colors – all unique and different, yet all lovely in their own way. Coincidence? I think not.
As mentioned before, I know not everyone will agree with me, and that’s perfectly okay. I’m not trying to shove my beliefs down anyone’s throat, and I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind. I’m simply stating that I am a loving Christian that has seen things from a different perspective, and it has shaped me into who I am today – a person called to love, who celebrates love, and I’m a person who captures it. I put my heart into every wedding and couple I get the chance to work with, and I don’t discriminate. I am so grateful for the opportunity to do what I feel I was meant to do, and that is something not many can say. All this being said, I hope everyone enjoys their weekend, and let FREEDOM ring.
{ Charlotte NC Wedding Photographer + Charleston Wedding Photographer + Destination Wedding Photographer + Same Sex Wedding Photographer +Winston Salem Wedding Photographer + Raleigh Wedding Photographer + LGBT Wedding Photographer + Alexandria Wedding Photographer + DC Wedding Photographer + Asheville Wedding Photographer + Rock Hill Wedding Photographer Casey Hendrickson Photography }